Hi dear Martha, home is where i stayed for 14 years in a huge quiet house, and i didn't care if I was bloody cold in the winter 'cause it was so old, but it was on the quietest street, and just a few minutes away from my river. I have agoraphobia and during the 14 years I were there, I started getting better, it was so, so peaceful so needed by my soul, until my landlord who had promised me I could live there forever as long as I paid cash, stabbed me in the back and forced me leave...there is no peace where I am it's loaded with people the traffic is insane...and non-stop from major street..and I do my best...but sometimes i just can't bear it, I want to go home...or at least somewhere near the river, I've tried several places but they all say no pets, and I won't leave them behind ever, but I'll get my place eventually if not here, i really believe, in heaven, I will have my house....
oh Lisa Isabella, you are such a dear, if ever I go back, I would be in heaven...I lost my peace I lost all the progress I made in 14 years I spent in this house he lied to me, he broke his promise , and he threw me out like a piece of garbage, I don't expect to ever rent a home again I can't afford them, my house was cheap because it was old and freezing in the winter and I didn't care all sorts of animals manage to get in and It didn't scare me, I just opened the door so they could leave,and my Sammy my poor Sammy I hope she died quickly..One day maybe I'll find a house on that street again, so quiet and so near the river I haven't given up yet, but see when I went bankrupt, I thought it would be ok cause the house was so cheap..I knew it wouldn't be a problem then he throws me and most people don't accept people who went bankrupt I'm in my 4th year, 3 more to go and i can sign for myself. I was lucky to find an apt building who didn't care that I went bankrupt, I'm grateful for that...
I know I will never go back, he won't ever let me the house. And now houses are so expensive, even to rent, I'll never be able too, the place i'm staying is possibly the cheapest...so I won't dream anymore, facing facts is hard but it will get to a point where I won't remember what it feels like to have a home, and that will be ok.
oh you are such a good-hearted person Stacy, my chance of ever having a home are 0... thank you for the wish, I need to find peace, some peace...thank you my sweet friend xoxoxo
And where is home? Have you mentioned it and I missed it?
ReplyDeleteSuch a lovely photograph. I will really miss being able to hang around the water for long stretches when it gets really cold.
Hi dear Martha, home is where i stayed for 14 years in a huge quiet house, and i didn't care if I was bloody cold in the winter 'cause it was so old, but it was on the quietest street, and just a few minutes away from my river. I have agoraphobia and during the 14 years I were there, I started getting better, it was so, so peaceful so needed by my soul, until my landlord who had promised me I could live there forever as long as I paid cash, stabbed me in the back and forced me leave...there is no peace where I am it's loaded with people the traffic is insane...and non-stop from major street..and I do my best...but sometimes i just can't bear it, I want to go home...or at least somewhere near the river, I've tried several places but they all say no pets, and I won't leave them behind ever, but I'll get my place eventually if not here, i really believe, in heaven, I will have my house....
DeleteI am so sorry my friend! I am praying you find a home near the water ;o) Big Hugs xoxoxo
DeleteI look at this and have the same sentiment. Water, a sailboat, maybe a coming storm… Now memories..
ReplyDeleteoh yes Anthony such good memories, now they just hurt, thank you very much
DeleteWhat a beautiful photograph, somehow I feel longing too when I look at it. I hope you can go to your home of your heart sometime my friend...
ReplyDeleteoh Lisa Isabella, you are such a dear, if ever I go back, I would be in heaven...I lost my peace I lost all the progress I made in 14 years I spent in this house he lied to me, he broke his promise , and he threw me out like a piece of garbage, I don't expect to ever rent a home again I can't afford them, my house was cheap because it was old and freezing in the winter and I didn't care all sorts of animals manage to get in and It didn't scare me, I just opened the door so they could leave,and my Sammy my poor Sammy I hope she died quickly..One day maybe I'll find a house on that street again, so quiet and so near the river I haven't given up yet, but see when I went bankrupt, I thought it would be ok cause the house was so cheap..I knew it wouldn't be a problem then he throws me and most people don't accept people who went bankrupt I'm in my 4th year, 3 more to go and i can sign for myself. I was lucky to find an apt building who didn't care that I went bankrupt, I'm grateful for that...
DeleteHome means different things to different people, Lorraine. Hope you find yours soon. Lovely photo by the way...
ReplyDeleteOH Frank that's the nicest wish you could ever give me, thank you so much...and thanks for the compliment
DeleteLuv the close uo of the tree trunks
ReplyDeleteMuch love...
thank you Gillena it's another of my love: trees, rivers and trees can cure me, nothing else does, much love to you always
DeleteI know I will never go back, he won't ever let me the house. And now houses are so expensive, even to rent, I'll never be able too, the place i'm staying is possibly the cheapest...so I won't dream anymore, facing facts is hard but it will get to a point where I won't remember what it feels like to have a home, and that will be ok.
ReplyDeleteLorraine, I hope you find peace within your heart! You are a beautiful person and deserve so much! xoxoxo
ReplyDeleteoh you are such a good-hearted person Stacy, my chance of ever having a home are 0... thank you for the wish, I need to find peace, some peace...thank you my sweet friend xoxoxo
ReplyDelete